How To Get Your Kid Set For Retirement

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I’ll just cut to the chase: When your kid is born, put $12,400 in an investment generating 7% interest, and they’ll be a millionaire by 65. I know that sounds crazy, and I’m making a LOT of assumptions, but you can find all the justifications for my logic in this post here. Again, this is presented as data ONLY. Listen up, new parents. It’s time to make your kids millionaires.

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All of these equal $1M:
0 – $12,400 x 65 years of 7% growth
1 – $13,200 x 64 years of 7% growth
2 – $14,100 x 63 years of 7% growth
3 – $15,100 x 62 years of 7% growth
4 – $16,200 x 61 years of 7% growth
5 – $17,300 x 60 years of 7% growth
6 – $18,500 x 59 years of 7% growth
7 – $19,800 x 58 years of 7% growth
8 – $21,200 x 57 years of 7% growth
9 – $22,700 x 56 years of 7% growth
10 – $24,300 x 55 years of 7% growth
11 – $25,900 x 54 years of 7% growth
12 – $27,800 x 53 years of 7% growth
13 – $29,700 x 52 years of 7% growth
14 – $31,800 x 51 years of 7% growth
15 – $34,000 x 50 years of 7% growth
16 – $36,400 x 49 years of 7% growth
17 – $38,900 x 48 years of 7% growth
18 – $41,600 x 47 years of 7% growth

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By this logic, you should actually reconsider sending your kids to university! The average four-year university undergraduate degree costs $84,000! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT CAN DO FOR A 23-YEAR-OLD? Invested at 7% interest – (I know some of you are still skeptical, so here’s further justification from someone far smarter than me) – THEY’D HAVE OVER $500,000 IN THE BANK BY 50. Wait 10 years more AND THEY’RE MILLIONAIRES. Here, crunch some numbers and get back to me. What’s especially wild is these are essentially set-and-forget investments: NO FURTHER CONTRIBUTIONS NEEDED! How are NO new parents doing this? It’s goddamn insane! Index funds, FTW!

If I’d known at 18 what I know now, I would’ve skipped post-secondary entirely. One of the richest and most successful people I know didn’t have any formal schooling AT ALL. Another friend is an artist and is set to retire with $800,000+. It turns out financial success isn’t all that linked to skills or intelligence at all. All you need is (a little) Money and (a lot of) Time!

If you completely ignored my post about not having kids, don’t ignore this one. Making a new millionaire from scratch costs $12,400 and your kids will be grateful forever. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like the best damn deal I’ve ever heard.

Wishing you and your kids riches,
Unconbentional

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The Other Ben, or How to Retire at 33

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Ben is the most successful person I know. I’m actually embarrassed to be writing today’s post, mainly because I know I’ll never be as awesome as he is. Through sheer determination and innate frugality, he’s now on track to Retire For Good at 33. He’s 27 now, so he’ll be done in six years. SIX FUCKING YEARS. Here’s how he did it.

Those who have been with us since the beginning know there are two Bens: the dumb one – that’s me – and the smart one, Other Ben. Where I rack up Debt buying shiny things and drinking, Other Ben quietly drops thousands into his RRSP every month and doesn’t even blog about it like a tool.

He’s the kind of Ben I want to be when I grow up.

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Ben grew up in the woods, and never went to school. The year was 1999. He was living in a solar-powered house two hours out of Ottawa, and had no TV. City life was a foreign concept to him. At 11, he learned how to read, and how to code. With basic internet and online tutorials, he started learning HTML, JavaScript, CSS, and Flash. Within a few years, he mastered them, and started working on his own projects. He coded a chat system by 16. He became the webmaster for a local food co-op and started making $20/hour. He made Mac builds for The Battle for Wesnoth. He ported Frogatto & Friends to iOS. At 23, he moved to Vancouver. That’s when I met him.

Ben had many interests, but two stood out. The obvious one was software development. The second, quieter one was financial independence. He wanted absolute freedom from the rat race, and looked forward to a day when his investments generated enough passive income for him to Retire For Good and pursue whatever other project he wanted. He soon found work, and started making double what I do. He stayed there for four years.

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I messaged Ben last night. He’s in Brooklyn now, resting up before the first day at his new job. He’d just finished three months at Recurse, and I was asking him details for this post.

“What online resources did you use to learn code?” I asked.

“I started learning from people on IRC,” Ben said. “IRC was an interesting place, because often people were pretty rude and almost intentionally unhelpful when answering questions… But I hung out in the #web channel for a long time, and just sort of gradually absorbed knowledge…”

His new job makes him $100,000+ per year. His education was free.

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Ben’s not alone. I mentioned before he’s never had formal schooling. He hasn’t even been homeschooled. This isn’t really a surprise to me since I’ve always believed that modern academia is outdated in the internet age. Why bother memorizing history or doing equations longhand when you can bring anything up at the touch of a button? Mr. Money Mustache even posted an article recently where he mocked “fancy education” and simply suggested “Knowing how to Use a Goddamned Computer”. Ben figured this shit out early. I have diplomas worth tens of thousands and I’m just… me. Ben’s kicking my ass.

Formal education is the pits. In the internet age, you can learn anything for free. According to this article released by the Canadian Federation of Students, those “requiring a Canada Student Loan now graduate with an average debt of over $28,000”. Holy fuck, that’s more than I owe and I basically just partied for five years. Can you imagine what the damage would be if I were going to school too? “42% of Canadians under 30 years old still live in their parent’s home”. I got out and own my 99-year leasehold, and I don’t even have a bachelor’s degree. “In 2014, youth un- and under-employment among Canadian youth was 27.7%”. Well, that’s depressing. I have 2.5 jobs. What are these kids doing with their fancy degrees?

Being a self-starter will ALWAYS trump formal education. Ben is proof of that. Even I’m proof of that. The simple desire to get out there, make money, and be happy is NOT tied to academia. Ben will retire at 33. I take time off whenever I want. We both have a six-figure net worth, and neither of us have a degree.

Want success? Get out there and learn without paying someone to force you.

You’ll be a millionaire in no time.

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EDIT: The original version of this post was edited to hide personal details. Ben has also spoken up, and would like to clarify his goal is financial independence at 33, not necessarily retirement.