I’ll just cut to the chase: When your kid is born, put $12,400 in an investment generating 7% interest, and they’ll be a millionaire by 65. I know that sounds crazy, and I’m making a LOT of assumptions, but you can find all the justifications for my logic in this post here. Again, this is presented as data ONLY. Listen up, new parents. It’s time to make your kids millionaires.

*****

All of these equal $1M:

0 – $12,400 x 65 years of 7% growth

1 – $13,200 x 64 years of 7% growth

2 – $14,100 x 63 years of 7% growth

3 – $15,100 x 62 years of 7% growth

4 – $16,200 x 61 years of 7% growth

5 – $17,300 x 60 years of 7% growth

6 – $18,500 x 59 years of 7% growth

7 – $19,800 x 58 years of 7% growth

8 – $21,200 x 57 years of 7% growth

9 – $22,700 x 56 years of 7% growth

10 – $24,300 x 55 years of 7% growth

11 – $25,900 x 54 years of 7% growth

12 – $27,800 x 53 years of 7% growth

13 – $29,700 x 52 years of 7% growth

14 – $31,800 x 51 years of 7% growth

15 – $34,000 x 50 years of 7% growth

16 – $36,400 x 49 years of 7% growth

17 – $38,900 x 48 years of 7% growth

18 – $41,600 x 47 years of 7% growth

*****

By this logic, you should actually reconsider sending your kids to university! The average four-year university undergraduate degree costs $84,000! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT CAN DO FOR A 23-YEAR-OLD? Invested at 7% interest – (I know some of you are still skeptical, so here’s further justification from someone far smarter than me) – THEY’D HAVE OVER $500,000 IN THE BANK BY 50. Wait 10 years more AND THEY’RE MILLIONAIRES. Here, crunch some numbers and get back to me. What’s especially wild is these are essentially set-and-forget investments: NO FURTHER CONTRIBUTIONS NEEDED! How are NO new parents doing this? It’s goddamn insane! Index funds, FTW!

If I’d known at 18 what I know now, I would’ve skipped post-secondary entirely. One of the richest and most successful people I know didn’t have any formal schooling AT ALL. Another friend is an artist and is set to retire with $800,000+. It turns out financial success isn’t all that linked to skills or intelligence at all. All you need is (a little) Money and (a lot of) Time!

If you completely ignored my post about not having kids, don’t ignore this one. Making a new millionaire from scratch costs $12,400 and your kids will be grateful forever. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like the best damn deal I’ve ever heard.

Wishing you and your kids riches,

Unconbentional