I’m A Generosity Addict and That’s Not Okay

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I can’t remember which I bought first for her: the PS3 or the PS2.

This was years ago with our friend J. She was an avid gamer, and I was still riding the high of a successful wedding season, so I was feeling generous. I was like an Asian Oprah. (“YOU GET A PLAYSTATION, YOU GET A PLAYSTATION, YOU GET A PLAYSTATION!”) Seriously, I think I’ve gifted six or seven PlayStation consoles to my friends now. I seem to go apeshit every Christmas and it always seems like a good idea at the time, so I do it every year. Well, J dated one of my other friends and we lost her in the breakup. We haven’t seen her in months now, and that investment in our friendship is gone. In the end, the gifts I bought her were just Stuff, and therein lies the problem.

Say it with me: STUFF. IS. MEANINGLESS.

If you’re reading this, I’m sure you already know that, but my generosity addiction didn’t end there. It extended into my dating life too! I once blew $200 on a first date with someone I didn’t even know! WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH ME? Was I compensating? Probably. WHY DO I ASSOCIATE LITERALLY SACRIFICING MONEY WITH SHOWING AFFECTION OR FRIENDSHIP TO PEOPLE? Well, I’m not opening that door here, but I know some of you reading this know exactly what I’m talking about. Do you buy too many toys for your kid, thinking more action figures directly translate into showing them love? Have you ever bought an expensive concert ticket for a date when you know they’re not even a fan? Do you break the bank for your extended family when, deep down, you know all they really want is to spend more time with you? STOP SUBSTITUTING STUFF FOR ACTUAL LOVE.

For those of you who don’t obsessively read self-development articles, here’s a goddamn truth bomb: People accept love in different ways, and 9 times out of 10, buying them Stuff is the absolute worst way to go about it.

If you’re the type to be overly generous in a way that costs you money, seriously reevaluate how you give to the people you love. Stuff is meaningless. Be generous with your time instead, and spend that time with your friends, family, and romantic partners. Save your money.

They’ll remember the time you watched their favourite movie with them. No one remembers who bought the fucking TV.

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